Truth in Advertising

The Ugly Truth-Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler


SEE?

"Men cannot grow, change or progress," Mike, host of The Ugly Truth. Apparently, neither can Hollywood.








I'm going to borrow a line from another movie I just saw to describe this movie-"This is not a love story." A love story is about how two people grow together and accept each other's more negative qualities because of their love. Each person becomes a better person for knowing the other person. Or some bulls**t like that. This is not what happens in The Ugly Truth. I didn't realize that going in. I did the same old thing I always do. I went to see a romantic comedy in order to gain some insight into to how to get a date. (No, I don't know why I keep doing this. I must be clinically insane.) Alas, no insight was to be gained here.





Here we have the same old standard premise. Abby (Katherine Heigl), a successful, smart, attractive woman, described as a "control freak" (a quality without which she would not excel at her job) finds herself alone with her cat, her knitting and her list of qualities which her perfect mate must have. (How new and inventive!) When her station manager decides to employ Mike (Gerard Butler), a misleadingly cocky and seemingly misogynistic cable television show host, Abby finds herself a bit flummoxed. The situation rapidly deteriorates when Abby meets her neighbor, The Perfect Man, and, in a shocking twist of fate, makes a deal with Mike: Help me land this man, and I will forever shut my mouth about your demeaning relationship advice for women. And, thusly, the plot plods on.




We, the stupefied audience, get to watch Abby sex up and dumb down to get her man aided by the somewhat disturbing advice of Mike. I mean the unsuitably sexy wardrobe, the hot dog eating scene, the vibrating underwear, the fake hair, the unwillingness to express an opinion or criticize. Let's all stop for a minute and ponder the sick male mind that thought this movie up. What's that? It's written by women? A lot of women, in fact. I'm forced to wonder, "Are they intentionally trying to be female versions of Judd Apatow?" Didn't Katherine Heigl, herself, criticize his movies as misogynistic? What the hell is going on?




But wait. I understand what they were trying to accomplish. I think. As we watch Abby become, well, un-Abby, we see Mike grow to love her even as he tries to shape her into the kind of woman The Perfect Man would want. Soon Mike realizes he loves her "control freakishness," her short hair, her awkward celebratory jig, and her know-it-allism. (Or does he?) And Abby warms to Mike's gruffness, his dedication to raising his nephew, his deeply hidden intelligence and the broken heart he hides beneath his objectification of women. (Or does she?) And slowly, they realize that though they can't stand each other they love each other. Hmmm. No that's not it. I don't understand after all.




When Abby asks Mike why he loves her, he says he has no idea. That I believe. Why, instead of loving her despite the things he sees as flaws, can't he come to see what an impressive, intelligent person she is? Eventually Abby sees that pretending to be a different person order to land her perfect man is ridiculous. Still, she doesn't learn to appreciate her "flaws" (intelligence, dedication, unwillingness to be pushed around in a "man's game") as good traits that would be admirable if they belonged to a man in her position. And why doesn't Abby come to realize that The Perfect Man is the one who realizes how great she is the way she is? (I know. I'm a sappy romantic who will never date.)



And what about Mike? On the outside-asshole, on the inside-deeply wounded. Waaaay on the inside. He still remains a so moderately misogynistic tv host. Shouldn't he realize that trying to change who a person really is can only lead to a failed relationship? Shouldn't he discover that the whole basis for his show is a lie? Apparently not. He doesn't really learn anything, and Abby doesn't really learn anything. This, I humbly submit, is where this movie fails. And that is the ugly truth.




EAT. (Or not.)

Hot dogs. I will never eat hot dogs in front of a man again. Or whole pickles. Or bananas. You get the drift.




SHOP.




Um. I haven't been to the Hustler store in a while. A loooong while. Vibrating underwear? Haven't seen that at my local Victoria's Secret. Hey! I'm game. BRING 'EM ON. Sure. Why not? Katherine Heigl's character loses the remote to these lacy babies at a business dinner and is forced to present a business plan while her remote (and other parts of her) are being handled by a kid at the next table. Not creepy or degrading at all, Ms. Heigl. Let's all reflect on Meg Ryan's "orgasm" scene at a restaurant in When Harry Met Sally. I'm sure if we think real hard we can ascertain the fundamental difference in what Meg Ryan's character was doing versus Ms. Heigl's scene. If you must trip the remote fantastic, get down and dirty at http://www.bootyparlor.com/turn-me-on-vibrating-panties.html?cid=0P3O1O&jkId=8a8ae4cc1da2ae17011e2d105e86554e&jt=1&jadid=1995413584&js=1&jk=vibrating%20underwear&jsid=10996&jmt=1&&gclid=CP-l9P3ihpwCFR0SagodEw7g_Q. I bet you can find better ways to spend your money. Then again, if you've paid to this movie, maybe you can't.